Zedrulpit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, blissful spider.

Zedrulpit created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedrulpit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedrulpit, it will try to impress you with trees.

Zedrulpit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zedrulpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing white shorts and balancing six copper spheres on your face.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.