Tadvolhat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awe-inspiring crow.

Tadvolhat created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadvolhat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tadvolhat, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tadvolhat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tadvolhat's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.