Fednanvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, selfish crocodile.

Fednanvin created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fednanvin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fednanvin, he will come to you in dreams.

Fednanvin's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fednanvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Hide if six nematodes approach from the north.