Vonkgunlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain hippopotamus.

Vonkgunlarg created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgunlarg, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkgunlarg, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vonkgunlarg's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vonkgunlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about solid mechanics.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near goats while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.