Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud snail.

Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the south.

4. Put Nilyarlsanvolmingubtig first in all things.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near otters while wearing fawn rings and balancing five gold spheres on your feet.