Xucktanstan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful weasel.

Xucktanstan created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucktanstan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xucktanstan, she will turn you into a puffin.

Xucktanstan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Xucktanstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to monkeys while wearing black jumpers.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Xucktanstan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.