Stipzagcitril is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, impressive narwhal.

Stipzagcitril created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipzagcitril, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stipzagcitril, it will laugh at you.

Stipzagcitril's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Stipzagcitril's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Worship no other gods but Stipzagcitril.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Stipzagcitril loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.