Yimciprow is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, proud narwhal.

Yimciprow created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimciprow, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yimciprow, it will be very sad.

Yimciprow's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Yimciprow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing indigo shoes and balancing six silicon spheres on your legs.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Yimciprow loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not eat aubergines.