Zedvolbonk is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, irritating parrot.

Zedvolbonk created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedvolbonk, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zedvolbonk, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zedvolbonk's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zedvolbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Always stare at clouds.