Pakzoddap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking hamster.

Pakzoddap created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakzoddap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pakzoddap, he will turn you into a rock.

Pakzoddap's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Pakzoddap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near doves while wearing yellow shorts and balancing eight copper spheres on your feet.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.