Signarkik is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy goblin.

Signarkik created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Signarkik, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Signarkik, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Signarkik's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Signarkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Never feed nuts to dolphins while wearing black skirts.

3. Do not kill porpoises.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. You must love Signarkik.