Cetzanvadhivkop is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, kind hamster.

Cetzanvadhivkop created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetzanvadhivkop, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cetzanvadhivkop, she will destroy your home planet.

Cetzanvadhivkop's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Cetzanvadhivkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of doves.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing fawn stockings and balancing eight tin spheres on your face.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.