Motappwee is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy jellyfish.

Motappwee created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motappwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Motappwee, she will send you a sign.

Motappwee's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Motappwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Motappwee.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.