Jonomin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty dragonfly.

Jonomin created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonomin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jonomin, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jonomin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Jonomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.