Vilzandan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, awesome rat.

Vilzandan created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilzandan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vilzandan, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Vilzandan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vilzandan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat bark.