Dutlidtam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, calm tortoise.

Dutlidtam created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutlidtam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dutlidtam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dutlidtam's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dutlidtam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine mice in a large pit.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Dutlidtam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat bark.