Minyartmab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate hummingbird.

Minyartmab created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minyartmab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Minyartmab, it will make you grow a tail.

Minyartmab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Minyartmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Feed all hungry rats.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not laugh in public.