Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent mole.

Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not take Dubpigmisvanlamnegbum's name in vain.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not commit murder.