Targgudvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional pigeon.

Targgudvonk created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targgudvonk, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Targgudvonk, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Targgudvonk's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Targgudvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Never jump in the presence of pigs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Hide from pink sharks for they are unholy.