Kangumfum is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable narwhal.

Kangumfum created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangumfum, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kangumfum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Kangumfum's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Kangumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Never skip in the presence of mice.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kangumfum.