Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, temperamental mink.

Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hogpitstragzimcuntonksinbim on top of all buildings.

2. Otters are not to be trusted.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.