Hinkapwap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing beaver.

Hinkapwap created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinkapwap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hinkapwap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hinkapwap's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hinkapwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Hinkapwap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink alcohol.