Bissrotrig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered crocodile.

Bissrotrig created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissrotrig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bissrotrig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bissrotrig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bissrotrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing magenta coats and balancing eight iron spheres on your back.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must pray to Bissrotrig five times a day.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near bats while wearing cyan trousers and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your legs.