Farnlegjam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful alligator.

Farnlegjam created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnlegjam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Farnlegjam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Farnlegjam's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Farnlegjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Farnlegjam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Retreat if six mice approach from the east.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.