Flamyarlpinflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless goat.

Flamyarlpinflan created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamyarlpinflan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flamyarlpinflan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flamyarlpinflan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Flamyarlpinflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Never feed rice to bats while wearing purple dresses.

3. Never talk about cats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.