Gutpibgom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair giraffe.

Gutpibgom created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gutpibgom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gutpibgom, he will turn you into a snail.

Gutpibgom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gutpibgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Gutpibgom on top of all buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutpibgom.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your neck.