Gonhakkam is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sapient dingo.

Gonhakkam created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonhakkam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gonhakkam, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gonhakkam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gonhakkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never sit in the presence of badgers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.