Sinbegquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient tortoise.

Sinbegquaf created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinbegquaf, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sinbegquaf, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sinbegquaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sinbegquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sinbegquaf.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat spinach.