Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest dryad.

Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Arfhaskonhotsawnuldidwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to sharks while wearing rings.

2. Never paint your back black.

3. Never think about spacetime near doves while wearing blue shirts and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never think about gravity.