Baptigbest is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, overgenerous goblin.

Baptigbest created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Baptigbest, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Baptigbest, it will destroy your home planet.

Baptigbest's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Baptigbest's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing green coats.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Do not listen to music.