Lognurlbambon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unsympathetic hummingbird.

Lognurlbambon created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Lognurlbambon, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lognurlbambon, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lognurlbambon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lognurlbambon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear black shoes.