Midfudlad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic seal.

Midfudlad created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midfudlad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Midfudlad, she will not invite you to parties.

Midfudlad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Midfudlad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.