Dadbenmob is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient elephant.

Dadbenmob created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadbenmob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dadbenmob, it will be very sad.

Dadbenmob's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dadbenmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Never eat bark.