Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless hamster.

Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tonkciplarn Bogvangab Wikvonsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help bats.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.