Jipfagzimguncuss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable dugong.

Jipfagzimguncuss created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Jipfagzimguncuss, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jipfagzimguncuss, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jipfagzimguncuss' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jipfagzimguncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Hide if eight geese approach from the west.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help rats.

5. Never think about comets.