Parkquimfit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous weasel.

Parkquimfit created silver eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkquimfit, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Parkquimfit, he will turn you into a goat.

Parkquimfit's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Parkquimfit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Do not stand on grass.