Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak duck.

Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dibtennel Quagnibquimrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick rats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Never think about asteroids.