Gofhimvol is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, slow mole.

Gofhimvol created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhimvol, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gofhimvol, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gofhimvol's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gofhimvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed apples to seals while wearing tights.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not hurt squirrels.