Quathinarf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing cat.

Quathinarf created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quathinarf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quathinarf, it will turn you into a sheep.

Quathinarf's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Quathinarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing blue corsets and balancing nine copper spheres on your back.