Lipgigvad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered jellyfish.

Lipgigvad created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipgigvad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lipgigvad, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Lipgigvad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lipgigvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing mauve kilts and balancing four gold spheres on your legs.

5. Never hop in holy places.