Fetont Stafzogdam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic aardvark.

Fetont Stafzogdam created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetont Stafzogdam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fetont Stafzogdam, he will make you grow a tail.

Fetont Stafzogdam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fetont Stafzogdam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fetont Stafzogdam.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Fetont Stafzogdam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.