Sakhanpark is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish unicorn.

Sakhanpark created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakhanpark, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sakhanpark, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Sakhanpark's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Sakhanpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near squirrels while wearing fawn rings and balancing nine silver spheres on your back.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Worship no other gods but Sakhanpark.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never wear white stockings.