Bogjabdum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable snake.

Bogjabdum created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogjabdum, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bogjabdum, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bogjabdum's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bogjabdum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Never feed lemons to tapirs while wearing shirts.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never mention mites.