Satfomarp is a god.

She takes the form of a large, omnipotent duck.

Satfomarp created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satfomarp, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Satfomarp, she will turn you into a rock.

Satfomarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Satfomarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always look after injured ants.

5. Never think about galaxies.