Hottinvon is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent ant.

Hottinvon created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hottinvon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hottinvon, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hottinvon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hottinvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Run away if five porpoises approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.