Ruttjatvad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, blissful bird.

Ruttjatvad created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjatvad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ruttjatvad, it will send you a sign.

Ruttjatvad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ruttjatvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Ruttjatvad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.