Yamcetnil is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow finch.

Yamcetnil created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Yamcetnil, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yamcetnil, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yamcetnil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yamcetnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near foxes while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing seven silicon spheres on your back.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never talk about dark matter near goats while wearing brown ear rings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.