Laghabgutdogpomhotbom is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic warg.

Laghabgutdogpomhotbom created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghabgutdogpomhotbom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Laghabgutdogpomhotbom, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Laghabgutdogpomhotbom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Laghabgutdogpomhotbom's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Never skip in the presence of geese.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laghabgutdogpomhotbom.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.