Bemtipstig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil owl.

Bemtipstig created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemtipstig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemtipstig, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bemtipstig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bemtipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bemtipstig.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Put Bemtipstig first in all things.

5. Do not listen to music.