Titvenbot is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome goat.

Titvenbot created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titvenbot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Titvenbot, she will turn you into a hamster.

Titvenbot's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Titvenbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never jump near grasshopers.

3. Erect nine copper sculptures of Titvenbot on top of important buildings.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.